We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Hollywood portrays male friendships as effortless. Lifelong bonds are formed through drunken shenanigans, school days, a shared workplace, or the pursuit of female companionship. But most guys are a long way from the plentiful and meaningful platonic connections of TV shows and movies. In the real world, scientific and anecdotal research suggests many men struggle to maintain friendships compared to their female counterparts, especially as they age past their school days.
According to science, yes. Guys form bonds by playing or watching sports, going to concerts, or working together. Women connect by talking about their feelings. As we get older and take on more responsibilities at work and home, men typically have less time for these shared activities, which can be isolating. This may be especially true in older generations with more traditional perspectives on masculinity.
In the s, two Boston-based psychiatrists studied the contemporary impact of loneliness and social exclusion in the United States. They found it much more likely for men to sacrifice friendships to focus on their marriages and careers. Schwartz told The New York Times. A study found that males had stronger neural connections in the parts of the brain responsible for perception and action, while females had better connectivity along the neural pathways linking analytics to intuition — two areas used heavily in interpersonal connection.
Before this study, differences in these kinds of neural pathways had never been highlighted among such a large sample size individuals. Because having friends is a critical component of a healthy life, for both men and women. Studies show that placing value on friendships is more strongly connected to good health and well-being than valuing family ties. People with more social connections are happier and healthier in a host of ways, such as the following:.
While some might dismiss self-disclosure as a matter of taste, there is evidence to suggest that it helps people become better at resolving conflicts and at feeling empathetic.
And while we dismiss gossip as a nasty and mostly female habit, a meta-analysis of gossip studies showed that it can have positive effects on group dynamics and team building. When men have less meaningful friendships with other men, they are less likely to be developing critical skills and the intimate connections that can sustain them outside of romantic partnerships. And with romantic partnerships changing dramatically, men are at even greater risk of isolation.
While the media likes to drag out the tired trope of the husband-hunting, baby-hungry woman, men are consistently found to be more desirous of finding a partner than women are. A survey of British men and women by advertising firm J. Walter Thompson found that 85 percent of men wanted to be married or in a committed relationship, compared to 79 percent of women. A survey by dating site Match. As our culture shifts away from early marriage, and often from marriage in general, it leaves potential for a lot of lonely men.
We need to encourage boys and men to foster friendships that will alleviate the feeling of isolation that is part of being single and part of being alone. As a year-old girl watching Stand By Me and lusting dutifully after River Phoenix, I found myself frustrated by his lack of romantic conquests in the film.
Men become especially bad at forming friendships as they grow older, when it becomes more important to do so. A British survey released late last year found almost one in five men had no close friends compared to about one in eight women , and suffered far greater loneliness after retirement.
Maaate: why men need to keep their friends. Please try again later. The Sydney Morning Herald. By Greg Callaghan July 10, — 8.
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